Revenge of the Donuts: Dark Jelly

Fellow writer shadowoperator, operating a fantastic blog over here, suggested that I examine my devastation upon the donut population and put myself in a jelly donut’s skin.

The exercise in donut empathy stopped almost immediately after it began as it is extremely hard to concentrate while trying to suck jelly from your own arm.

So I decided to go about it in a less slobbery way. Google.

At first, all I could find for the search “do jelly donuts have feelings LOL” were calorie counts, a practice violating the first law of donut eating:

“Judge a donut not by the color of its frosting but by the content of its center.”
– Bismark de la Creme

I continued on through the misguided numbers, clicking on page after page of search results, desperate for answers.

I dare not say what page I ended up on, but what I found changed my life.  A mere telling will not do this conversation justice so I have copied and pasted its contents.

Conversation between two jelly donuts


Jelly donut agent missing in action


Demise of jelly donut, picture of half eaten donut

4 thoughts on “Revenge of the Donuts: Dark Jelly

  1. shadowoperator says:

    All right, Peter, you sly donut-scarfing devil! I suppose you fancy yourself acquitted by confession a la proxy, is that it? You’ve manipulated your victims into confessing for you, and you expect me to sympathize? Well, I do, just a little (I have been known to eat not just a jelly donut, but a mocha cake, a jelly roll pastry slightly larger than a donut which has chocolate on it and is covered in whipped cream besides–so it’s sort of a case of the jelly roll eater calling the jelly donut eater “murderer”–hope you’ll forgive and forget). And thanks, by the way, for the very kind mention of my site and the link. Is it only jelly donuts you crucify, or do cream horns (also known as lobster tails) also qualify? Yes, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! Sigh! Only being on a diet has made peace in the land of my blog.

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