A Query To All You Blog Stalkers Out There….

Is it weird when you see or are introduced to someone you’ve been consistently stalking on Facebook, Blogger, WordPress or whatever? From my, um…. research, it’s usually a friend of a friend of a friend.

You have so many questions for them, you know so much about them, yet you pretend like you are a stranger. Her dog just died, she hates the receptionist at her work, eats oatmeal for breakfast and has lost 40 pounds since the birth of her 3rd child. Yet, you look her in the eye and say “Oh hello there! What’s your name?”

It’s a little bit like meeting a celebrity, except now you have absolutely zero connections to this person. Everybody wants to see one, meet them even, but then, what the hell do you say? No let me rephrase that… you can always find something to say.

What do you say without sounding like a psychopath?

Illustration of stranger meeting Kim Kardashian.
This is representative of 99% of Kim Kardashian sightings.

18 thoughts on “A Query To All You Blog Stalkers Out There….

  1. Scintillatebrightly says:

    I’ve had this come up so many times. Depending on my level of interest in the person, I either steer the conversation in that direction myself or let it happen organically. I think, “I’ve seen you around on FB,” is starting to become a catchphrase, because seriously. You know you’ve seen them, they know they’ve seen your stuff, yet you’ve never met. You almost can’t avoid seeing people now, even when you try not to stalk. So yeah, I say it straight out when it seems appropriate, or after the first add, all those points are mute anyway.

  2. J DoubleU says:

    Hilarious drawing! This is precisely why I hate people who friends’ list lurk…like whenever I see X friend (who I haven’t met yet) adds X friend that I’ve known for years, it’s kinda like you guys have nothing in common except me, so what are you gonna talk about? It’s new age passive aggressiveness.

    That’s why I wish FB wasn’t so clunky and awkward now…FB events have been replaced by Tweet-ups and hashtags, which alot less stalkerish

  3. waterlexeme says:

    Your cartoon is hysterical. 🙂

    As for people we stalk online – the salutatory lesson they may need to learn is that whatever goes out into the world can come back to haunt them at any time. This did happen to me once, I meet someone who had years ago read something I wrote they didn’t like. I may have matured during the intermission, but unfortunately my Internet barf had not.

    When we make our private lives public we sort of have to expect that sometimes a random stranger will come up to us on the street and say, “You’re so much older and fatter than your profile page. You sure you lost 40 pounds? You might need new scales, oh yeah that;s right your credit card is maxed out. Shame about your last kid being so ugly and all. Or, is that your dog in the family photo album – it’s a little hard to tell.”

  4. bambusasolutions says:

    I had a weird moment earlier this year that would fly in the face of your research. There was this guy that I worked with in my last job. We were both (quietly) crushing on each other but being professionals and married to our respective spouses, it never went any further than the occasional friendly conversation. After I was made redundant and moved away, we became FB friends and proceeded to stalk each other and occasionally flirt online for over a year.

    At Easter, I went home and popped into the office to visit everyone and when we saw each other, there was one of those slow-motion, running-towards-each-other-along-the-beach kind of moments, with a hug and a peck on the cheek. Not much, I know, but afterwards I realised that this would have been rather shocking for the others in attendance who would have had no idea how much our friendship had developed in my absence.

  5. g. galven says:

    A Facebook Metaphor:

    I was walking along a rocky coast in Australia and happened to meet a stranger halfway between the shore and an imposing rocky crag, which by all appearances was my lifeline back to a safe and level path. We were NOT FB friends and instantly turned our sights away from each other, intuitively knowing that life was short, friends were many and the path dangerous… We did exchange glances as we silently passed each other; twenty yards ahead, I noticed he had dropped his wallet along the steep path. I picked it up, examining the contents and discovered that he was indeed a FB friend, twice removed. I ate my sandwich and continued my way back to safety. I ‘unfriended’ him and kept the wallet. I am now him and have many new friends….

  6. g. galven says:

    g. galven:
    I am the one who lost his wallet; I am also the one who ‘borrowed’ your scooter on the highway.
    I had also borrowed the wallet you had found. I watched you walk into town and felt victorious for a moment. And once again, after reading this post. Thank you.

  7. g. galven says:

    g. galven:
    I had a lovely walk, met a wonderful woman in town who put me up (lacking money/credentials) and she and I both go by the name of g. galven as web bloggers/contributors. So, as a matter of curiosity, are you her, you, me or the original owner of the wallet? I would appreciate a speedy response.

  8. g. galven says:

    It was a long night, once again alone and a stranger in this god forsaken country. There was a time when the spice routes made this place a hub of interest and input. Australia seems a long forgotten exercise in human relations and the lessons sublimated, barely breaking through the concrete of this sorry cesspool of human excess. At least the coffee is strong and a day’s travel is on the menu. Alas, regarding the question, the answer is just another question: How is it that we limit ourselves to one character, maintaining boundaries of propriety, specific to a set of values which by definition, exclude all others? Yes, by accident or destiny, failures lead to successes, and a small shift of consciousness sometimes occurs. We are honed and scraped smooth by choice and events that we explain as accidental. Deliberate actions are boldfaced and infrequent; we are first responders to life. Triage, parry and lunge, damage assessment, then rest. Science explains the surface of life, religion a myth to explain the deep and dark waters and our books are written to compare the inadvertent glimpses of insight and understanding. I am glad to be shortly traveling on a crowded bus with dark skinned people who practice patience and humility. Their mountains are real, the seas are dreams to come and life is short and difficult. Simple, sublime and honest to our roots as nomadic gatherers. It is a day of gathering for me. Another question from you?

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