I’m jumping right in. Follow close!

• Birthing the Baby is Painful — FALSE!

Funny enough, my wife went through almost every scenario in the birthing process. We attempted Hypnobirthing but as her dilation stalled, we tried every solution: pacing the halls, multiple position changes, manually breaking her water, birthing ball bouncing, Pitocin drip, epidural (I guess we are NOT a Hypnobirthing family) and after 20 hours, a C section. See? No pain.

• You Will Never Sleep A Full Night Again — FALSE! 

Okay fine, true.

• Babies Cost a Lot of Money — FALSE! 

I had always thought this one to be true. But come to find out, making a baby is free! All you need is about 5* minutes and a suitable mate.

*times may vary

 

• Baby Will Take Up Your Free Time — FALSE!

Baby will actually devour your free time and then scream for more. Yet, this was probably the most eye opening part of becoming a parent. My wife and I will look at each other and say “What the hell did we do with our lives before?”. The answer? A whole lot of nothing. With baby in tow, when you have free time, every minute will be spent squeezing out the good stuff.

• Changing a Diaper is Horrifying — FALSE! 

My wife tells me it’s not that bad. Having never actually changed one, I can’t say. Seems false though.

• Your Marriage/Relationship Will Suffer — FALSE!

This, my friends, is the biggest lie of them all.

When the baby finally came, I anticipated that I would have to take the love I had for my wife and split it down the middle so that I’d have enough for both. However, in the instant I saw my daughters face, my capacity to love multiplied. There are no words to explain the sensation. In that moment, I grew more as a person that at any other point in my life. Suddenly, the most important thing in the world to me was to love the small bundle in my arms.

I consider myself a pretty decent human. But having a child motivated me to be so much more.

In fact, if you are reading this and consider yourself a halfway decent human also, all of the above myths can be discarded in one fell swoop.

When you look into your newborn’s eyes, you won’t care about anything else.